Coping from a cell.
The COVID-19 pandemic is altering the lives, in some form at least, of everyone on earth. It is unexpected, unpredictable, and so far unrelenting. A lot of recent media reports and advertisements on television speak of anxieties and mental health issues arising in people from the stress of it all. The feelings of isolation from family, friends and basic social interactions have been identified as triggers for depression, anxiety, and long term dissociative behavior. I however have already dealt with each and every single one of these issues on a daily basis since 7/24/14. I am currently incarcerated. I broke laws, I am paying my debt to society. I have already made the best out of my situation as I can. I have a 7 year old daughter who I talk to almost every day. My mother currently has custody of her and is raising her on a single income. My relationship with them is as strong and good as it can be under the circumstances.
My stress and anxieties come from not knowing from one day to the next if my 57 year old mother will get sick and be unable to care for my daughter. I would in effect lose my whole family in an instant. If my mother doesn’t have my daughter I cannot speaker to her on the phone or send her emails. Without that connection I have nothing else in this world that matters. I am no longer being punished with my sentence. My mother and daughter are. My punishment was over in my heart and mind once I realized that fact. Now after nearly 6 years of being locked up, with just under 4 years left ’til my release I’m left with the possibility of losing every reason I have to keep moving forward and bettering myself in here and I am completely helpless in the matter. I cannot give assistance to my mother or daughter from in here. I can’t help my community, I can’t donate blood, plasma, or even time to help anyone. I am a changed man from who I was when I first got locked up. I am a better son, father, and man. I just want to help my family, protect them, and comfort them in these terrible times. I am helpless. I’m not afraid of getting sick, I am afraid others will get sick and I can do nothing to help. That once again others will suffer because of my mistakes. I want to change the patter of my lift here and now. But I can do nothing but sit and start at a wall and wait another 3 years and 9 months before I can help anyone. I’m afraid, however, that by then I will have no one left to help but myself.
Thank you,
Terry Church